what is it about milfs, anyway?

so today, in response to a comment i made on my wife’s blog, someone asked me:

Ken, MILFs are sexier than nannies? Are they sexier than porn stars and women dressed in school girl uniforms? Is a MILF the sexiest thing a woman can be?

i started to type up a response, and then realized that such a question really demands a bit more attention and thought.

sooooooooooooooooo, what IS it about milfs anyway?

1. first and foremost, a milf as spotted “in the wild” may certainly be an adoptive mother, but i think it’s safe to assume that the vast majority of mothers out there actually did give birth to their offspring, so we’ll base our assumptions off of that fact.
2. there is proof of fertility inherent in any mother. as a male, biologically/evolutionarily speaking, that’s pretty important–a male does not want to divert the substantial resources necessary to secure a mate just to find out later that she’s barren.
3. since there is an offspring involved, it can be assumed that the milf is not a virgin. while some males find the idea of virgins endlessly arousing, i am not one of them. while there’s nothing wrong with virginity, at this point in my life i greatly prefer someone with experience. there’s just too steep of a learning curve and i don’t have time to catch someone up to speed.
4. there is also the assumption made that the milf is, for lack of a better term, “hot” — hence the “like to fuck” part. obviously there’s something about this person that is objectively attractive, irrespective of parental status.
5. the fact that #4 AND #1 are both simultaneously true means that the subject exhibits tremendous physical resilience. the strains and stresses put upon the female human body cannot be underestimated, and the diligence, work, and sweat required to regain top form after birth are of epic proportion. pregnancy weight gains in the 60+ lb range are typical. therefore the milf demonstrates without a doubt that it has seen the heat of battle and has nonetheless emerged as a viable — even PREFERABLE — sexual partner via the sheer strength of her mind, willpower, and determination to become fit once again.
6. after such a feat, it is highly unlikely that the milf will suddenly put on 25lbs out of nowhere. the same cannot be said for most teenagers, the age bracket the vast majority of nannies and virgins would be in. it’s not called the freshman 15 for nothing!
7. speaking of age, i believe that there are far more lascivious women over age 30 than there are under age 30. there are lots of studies about the timing of women’s “sexual peaks” and such that would agree with my seat of the pants empirical observations. the likelihood of being/becoming a mother goes up with age, especially over age 30.
8. in response to the portion of the question which wondered, “Are [milfs] sexier than porn stars and women dressed in school girl uniforms?” i will only respond with a question in turn: cannot porn stars and women dressed in school girl uniforms be mothers themselves? and, if so, are they not then hotter than their non-milf counterparts? i would say “yes” to both, but that is something the reader must decide for themselves.
9. the milf is by definition a mother, which means her time is tightly regulated and scheduled. in fact, after all the motherly duties are done, there is precious little time — not to mention energy — left over to attend to “personal needs.” thus it follows that the milf is more likely to be living in a constant state of sexual repression yet is unable to make time and devote resources to relieving said repression. put another way, she’s gagging for it a lot more than the nanny/teen/virgin.
10. last but not least, the experience and trauma of expelling a 5-10lb infant through the birth canal leaves the milf with a much higher tolerance for pain. levels of aggression and physicality that would render most nannies/teens/virgins sobbing and weeping in the fetal position are mere foreplay to the milf. (note that this in no way diminishes the validity of sexual interactions in which sobbing, weeping, and the fetal position are part and parcel, but rather illustrates how having an unbridled sexual appetite for debauchery and a willingness to push — or stretch, as the case may be — one’s boundaries is awfully fucking hot.)

hopefully this has shed some light on why i worship the milf so much. please feel free to bring up important aspects that i may have overlooked; this is more of a work in progress than a final declaration.

oh yeah, here are some nice milf legs:

The Denial of Death

so hey, let’s get morbid.

basically the human organism is unique in that it knows, without a doubt, that its life is finite, and that it will someday die and cease to exist.

this is a burden unshared with any other life form on the planet.

i read a book a long time ago that gelled a lot of seemingly disparate concepts in my head about mortality, and finding meaning in life:

http://ken-gilbert.com/the-denial-of-death

find a copy and read it. that’s my public service announcement for the day.

Things I couldn’t have said better myself…

The principal mark of genius is not perfection but originality, the opening of new frontiers. (Arthur Koestler)

A writer’s problem does not change. He himself changes and the world he lives in changes but his problem remains the same. It is always how to write truly and having found what is true, to project it in such a way that it becomes a part of the experience of the person who reads it. (Ernest Hemmingway)

Every composer knows the anguish and despair occasioned by forgetting ideas which one has no time to write down. (Hector Berlioz)

There is only one trait that marks the writer. He is always watching. It’s a kind of trick of mind and he is born with it. (Morley Callaghan)

I haven’t understood a bar of music in my life, but I have felt it. (Igor Stravinski)

The real lost souls don’t wear their hair long and play guitars. They have crew cuts, trained minds, sign on for research in biological warfare, and don’t give their parents a moment’s worry. (J.B. Priestley)

Without music life would be a mistake. (Friedrich Nietzche)

I know that the twelve notes in each octave and the varieties of rhythm offer me opportunities that all of human genius will never exhaust. (Igor Stravinski)

Talent is what you possess; genius is what possesses you. (Malcolm Cowley)

The notes I handle no better than most pianists. But the pauses between the notes-ah, that is where the art resides! (Arthur Schnabel)

After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. (Aldous Huxley)

Anxiety is the essential condition of intellectual and artistic creation . . . and everything that is finest in human history. (Charles Frankel)

The difference between a top-flight creative man and the hack is his ability to express powerful meanings indirectly. (Vance Packard)

In music one must think with the heart and feel with the brain. (George Szell)

It is the function of creative men to perceive the relations between thoughts, or things, or forms of expression that may seem utterly different, and to be able to combine them into some new forms-the power to connect the seemingly unconnected. (William Plomer)